This is dedicated to all the people mentioned within the text and others who aren’t mentioned but who have enriched my perspective on life and love. A mere thankyou is not enough to show my gratitude.
I was just talking to this friend of mine who had fallen in love with a guy long before she even knew what the word meant. For nine years, she’d loved him unrequited, unrelentingly and completely. When he was with another woman, yes, she was hurt, but she still believed in her love. While he was with the other woman, she still had the guts to go up to him and confess that she loved him. And today, when they are together and he’s pre-occupied with his life, she still understands. Pretty amazing huh!
Another friend I have, has had a shitty family life. Completely dysfunctional, and yet, she chooses to believe in love and her boyfriend. He’s the only thing in her life going well. And the only thing that sets her off the edge is when things with her guy don’t work out.
Now, maybe it’s a girl thing. Or maybe I’ve just seen it more dominantly in women. Or maybe men being the brooding creatures they are don’t vocalize it as much as we women do. Whatever it is, it is one heck of a thing.
I’ve seen couples divorce, only to live unfulfilled their entire lives simply because they still love their ex. I’ve seen men/women cheat on their partners, only to return back with bagsful of guilt.
Maybe true love isn’t about being the perfect couple. Maybe it doesn’t even work on the rule that if you love someone you don’t make them cry. I pretty much have cried because of everyone I’ve loved. And I’m confidant, that I’ve made people who love me, cry a lot too.
In this really self-centered world, I’ve seen so many people sacrifice themselves completely and become the proverbial doormats, or towels of disposal, as one ingenuous friend puts it. And yet, these “”towels”” are happier…happier than the self-righteous preserved people.
And this got me thinking. I figured I’d done the “give and take” relationship funda and it hadn’t worked too well for me.
Probably because the basis of such a relationship is an expectation to receive. So, I’m trying the “give-give” school of thought. Being a brilliant student of the former school of thought, I find it awkward to be trying the latter.
But, give my all is what I shall. I may not succeed in my love being reciprocated, and I may even regret being too doormatty, but I wont regret giving it my all. I wont wonder if I could’ve done anything to make it better. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, I may get hurt. But whether I get the guy or not, I will gain insight to myself. And maybe, some poems in the bargain!