Le mélange appelé l’amour

Love, we all have our notions about them. And at my age, they veer more towards it being a happy hunky-dory all-is-perfect kind of relationship. Anything, which has even the hint of disagreement, is the end of the relationship and immature though it is, it’s an oft believed and religiously adhered to mode of behaviour.

Here I was, watching one of my all time favourite movies –Notting Hill, and I realized, towards the end of the movie, that maybe what we 20-somethings think of love to be is grossly untrue.

I realized, love isn’t about having a good time or not having arguments. It’s not even about being together all the time. Love is beyond that. Love is a mélange of all the base emotions of anger, insecurity, heated arguments, making mistakes, lying, hurting and yet, being together. Love isn’t about creating a perfectly happy life; its about embarking on all the perilous storms that life has to offer, getting stranded in the way, walking alone for a while only to come back together.

Theirs was the perfect love story. Not perfect because they ended up together though I admit, it is, in my opinion, one of the cutest scenes filmed. Yes, ending up together is what love should lead to…but their love was more than just that. It was about overcoming all kinds of issues. And unlike us, they didn’t even have the luxury of anonymity. Every single one of her actions was chronicled. Their lives were so different, it really was amazing to see them put all that aside and concentrate on the main emotion. Wanting to be together.

Now everyone of those cynics out there, might say that, “hey! It’s a movie, they might have broken up later.” Or, the incredibly prejudiced amongst us might even wonder at the spinelessness of the person to give up his entire existing life to be with his love! But then again, isn’t that what love is really about? Sacrificing the I to become the Us? Isn’t love really about handling the petty emotion called ego and overcoming it? Isn’t love really about always knowing that you belong together no matter how many mistakes you make?

I’m a 20-something. I’m a regular girl with rose-tinted romanticized ideas about love. Or maybe I’m not. All I know is that what we think of as love is just the icing on the cake. And it pains me to see my very generation so interested in the frosting and what that tastes like to really understand that you need a cake to put it on. We have all the frosting in the world, thanks to our over-commercialized notions about love and very little cake.

I don’t really know about you guys but a cake with too much frosting is kind of inedible to me. I’d rather have an icing free cake than a teeny-weeny cake with oodles of icing over it. While I do enjoy the icing, after a while, it leaves me with a sick feeling in the pit of my tummy and I have this massive urge to purge all of it out of m system.

So for what it’s worth, go for the cake. You wont be disappointed!



Filed under Introspective, Prose

9 responses to “Le mélange appelé l’amour

  1. YA..even I was watching it last night, amidst making dinner… My partner, on the hand hand hadn’t seen it yet..SO I made him watch…!! & he is the more “Rational”, “Idealistic” types… and even he enjoyed the movie.. I KNOW…ITS TOO AMAZING!!

    I would say, Love is like the Flour(YOU), Margarine(YOUR PARTNER), Sugar(HAPPINESS), Vanilla(EMOTIONS), Baking Powder(PAIN), Baking Soda(INDIFFERENCE), Eggs(OPINIONS), Oil(SUPPORT) and A BIG HOT FAT INVITING OVEN(LIFE)

    Now you know what has to be done to eat a delicious Cake!!!

  2. You don’t have to fully sacrifice “you” to become part of “us”… :o) that becomes really boring. Its fun being different and yet together…in fact, thats the best part of it…the intriguing part of it…the entertaining part of it. if theres something, someway in which u can change for the better of u and if it’l make ur partner happy, whats the harm? In my case it is :
    don’t bite nails.
    don’t let Google jump on bed.
    keep house clean.

    its not sooo bad. 🙂

  3. doksaab

    What you people are talking here is, I feel, not about love but relationship. Because love is a more complex an emotion. It is complete in itself and does not need approval of your beloved. Your beloved may not even be aware of your love.
    It is a devotion, a kind of complete sacrifice, where you have to be prepared and accept whatever comes your way.

    Once again I quote Gibran,
    “For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.”

  4. sprinklesofchatter

    Wow, you really got what I meant. Your recipe seems perfect to me! 🙂

    LOL. You have the perfect partner! But then I was actually referring to sacrificing the “you” in terms of personal immaterial opinions and flaws. Not the complete metamorphosis into “us”. This just shows that I really need to be more specific 😉

    If you keep quoting Gibran, I’m going to have to ask you to explain it as well. 😛 Moreover so, isn’t love supposed to be the amalgamation of all other relationships? And besides, unrequited love as you mentioned is a part of the entire melange, not the only entity. But if my beloved is aware of it, then I’m probably going to reiterate, in love stories where each is aware of the others’ affection, shouldn’t we really just focus on the cake? Why does my generation give up at the slightest hint of a dismal frosting irrespective of the substance beneath?

  5. doksaab

    Pratik, atleast be more generous in commenting 😉

  6. sprinklesofchatter

    My thoughts exactly

  7. prachi

    amazing !!

  8. Yes, the desire for/development of intimacy.

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