Category Archives: klash

The Absence of Happiness

They say:
It’s all in your head
That you’re merely overthinking
That you must at least make an effort.
They think that you chose this.
That’s not okay.

It’s bad enough that your brain
repeats the same words,
till you’re defenseless
and huddled in a corner,
yearning for a moment’s solitude
from your maddening thoughts.
But the well intentioned people
that surround you don’t understand.
That’s not okay.

They won’t understand
that sometimes breathing
is all you’re really capable of.
They won’t understand
that sometimes, even that feels pointless
and like too much effort.
They won’t understand
the emptiness that’s gnawing your insides
and eating you away,
one happy moment at a time.

We’re conditioned to think poorly
of the people fighting
the demons within their heads.
To ignore their suffering,
pretend it isn’t happening.
That’s not okay.

But perhaps they’ll understand
if you give them a suitable metaphor.
That you’re being chased by a Dementor
and your Patronus, or theirs,
cannot cannot chase it away.
No amount of chocolate will revive you
from the havoc already wreaked.
That this absence of happiness
is not by choice.

And maybe then,
instead of badgering you…
they’ll help you practice your spells
so that in the future, you’ll be okay.
And that, is so much better than just okay.

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Filed under Inspired by other creative works, Introspective, klash, Poetry, The world around me, Things that confuse me, Uncategorized

Beginnings

She sat by the window
and stared into the brown, grainy expanse
of barren, oft-trodden land.

Her feet itching,
her heart exploding,
she weighed the decision
against the weight of the traditions
that held her back.

She wasn’t afraid of getting lost,
it was the thought of being found
that crippled her.

Tired of cowering in corners,
hiding her bruises
and living in horror,
she walked out the front door
never looking back.

To everyone, it was the end of her marriage.
To her, it was the beginning of life.

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Filed under Inspired, klash, Poetry, The world around me, Uncategorized

Nostalgia

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I remember
huddling over the table
speaking softly;
offering you coffee,
and your fleeting touch
on my straying strands
of hair that escaped
into my eye.

I remember
you ordering a cookie
and crumbling it up
saving me a big piece
while I ate my sub
slowly…haltingly.

I remember
wanting muri,
and dangling my feet
at the edge of the lake;
feeling alone
in a crowd
and you whispering
the shapes of floating clouds.

I remember
all our times
and everything
that has changed.

I remember…

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Filed under Introspective, klash, Poetry, Reminiscing, Uncategorized

Hesitation

Myra was unaware of my gaze. She did not know that while she stood their contemplating her actions, I was watching her every move. I knew that my little daughter still thought that I was in the grocery store. As I stood by the car, I could see the longing in her eyes. I could hear the hiss of her breath as clearly as if it were my own. I knew exactly what she was thinking. This was an opportunity too good to be missed. And yet, her actions seemed hesitant. She still held back.

I waited in anticipation of her next move. One tiny move would determine my fate as a mother.

She took one last look at it, sighed and walked away.

That was the most fulfilling moment of my life. All my efforts of the last few years had finally borne fruit. I felt blessed!

My daughter had learnt discipline. Even when she thought of me to be faraway, she respected my wishes. The chocolate cake seemed to look back at me desolately.

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Filed under Food, klash, Prose

Melody

The whistle of a kettle,
clinking cups and saucers
and a hot pot of tea.
The music is cloaked-
indiscernibly soft;
amongst numerous tones
and a child’s laughing shriek.

A group of seven
huddles on a table for four.
He looks on lovingly
as she talks to his mother-
hesitatingly faltering;
stealing glances, smiling…
they’re conversing silently.

Over-filled tables
heaving and groaning
under the constant assault.
The loud, rambunctious crowd
falls silent temporarily-
there’s a tinkle at the door
as more people join in.

The rains dance sedately
on a  makeshift tin roof.
Twirling along to a tune unknown,
a few tiny droplets trip along;
trickling into the tea.
Swirled around with a spoon
they taste the tea with me.

On a sandy dusty road
old newspapers flutter about;
and in the veranda nearby-
Chitter chatter and chinwag
suddenly stills for a moment…
as a distant cloud rumbles by
and electricity streaks the sky.

While the evening fades into the night; this melody warms my insides…

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Filed under Food, klash, Poetry, The world around me

Ephemeral

 

A frivolous idea floats freely
somewhere atop my head.
It serenades me with its lilting tune,
leaving the words unsaid.

I strain to catch the words;
the voice lowers in strength.
I grapple with them endlessly-
it sounds like a strange strain.

It swirls around sublimely;
mesmerizing to see…
A wispy cottony tendril
lost at the touch of me.

I stand fixated by the sides
anticipating another sight.
It whooshes past on wiry wings
taunting my unseeing eyes.

I reach out to touch it,
engulf it in my palm.
As I’m about to caress it
a breeze lifts it high…

Each ephemeral idea
passes me by and
an empty sheet stares back at me
as water fills my eyes.

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Filed under Introspective, klash, Poetry, The world around me

Wink…(2)

Amazing isn’t it how inspiration strikes past the deadline?

 

The patchy pale face
split into a broken smile
One side of the curve
had faded over the course of time.

The floral white frock
had turned a dull shade of grey
The sleeves were ripped
and the hemline frayed.

The sole of the shoe
had seen better days
One of the pair was lost
Leaving a foot bare

Clutched tightly in one hand
and waved vigorously
the recorded gurgling sound
no longer played automatically

And when she was rocked
back and forth repeatedly
instead of blinking rapidly
the doll winked incessantly.

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Filed under klash, Poetry, The world around me