Category Archives: The world around me

The Absence of Happiness

They say:
It’s all in your head
That you’re merely overthinking
That you must at least make an effort.
They think that you chose this.
That’s not okay.

It’s bad enough that your brain
repeats the same words,
till you’re defenseless
and huddled in a corner,
yearning for a moment’s solitude
from your maddening thoughts.
But the well intentioned people
that surround you don’t understand.
That’s not okay.

They won’t understand
that sometimes breathing
is all you’re really capable of.
They won’t understand
that sometimes, even that feels pointless
and like too much effort.
They won’t understand
the emptiness that’s gnawing your insides
and eating you away,
one happy moment at a time.

We’re conditioned to think poorly
of the people fighting
the demons within their heads.
To ignore their suffering,
pretend it isn’t happening.
That’s not okay.

But perhaps they’ll understand
if you give them a suitable metaphor.
That you’re being chased by a Dementor
and your Patronus, or theirs,
cannot cannot chase it away.
No amount of chocolate will revive you
from the havoc already wreaked.
That this absence of happiness
is not by choice.

And maybe then,
instead of badgering you…
they’ll help you practice your spells
so that in the future, you’ll be okay.
And that, is so much better than just okay.

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Filed under Inspired by other creative works, Introspective, klash, Poetry, The world around me, Things that confuse me, Uncategorized

Beginnings

She sat by the window
and stared into the brown, grainy expanse
of barren, oft-trodden land.

Her feet itching,
her heart exploding,
she weighed the decision
against the weight of the traditions
that held her back.

She wasn’t afraid of getting lost,
it was the thought of being found
that crippled her.

Tired of cowering in corners,
hiding her bruises
and living in horror,
she walked out the front door
never looking back.

To everyone, it was the end of her marriage.
To her, it was the beginning of life.

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Filed under Inspired, klash, Poetry, The world around me, Uncategorized

Peek-a-boo!

A little boy
bundled up in his layered,
light-blue, balloon jacket
leans against the navy brick wall.
Legs apart, arms stretched,
leaning backwards,
his face turned upwards.

The sun peeks out,
from the bleached clouds.
He laughs aloud, runs towards
the bright sunlight and squeals
“caught you!”

And to humour the tyke,
the sun dances into
the nearby clouds.
And when it peeks out
after a while
the boy laughs,
runs forward – once again.

In that moment,
I swear that the sun
twinkled just a bit brighter.
The wind blew with a whoosh
joining in in laughter.

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Filed under Childhood, Inspired, Life at University, The world around me

To simply be….

The carved silver
on your ring finger
is a mark
of our union.

And the open spaces
around the etched words
are for your hands
to find mine
in times of need.

In every fidgeting whirl,
and unconscious touch –
I hear your heart
beckoning me.

And for each spin
the ring completes;
I whisper a blessing…
just like a prayer wheel
turning in the wind.

In every second of the touch
I am a reminder to simply be…

I saw someone wearing a ring with the chant “Om Mani Padme Hum” carved into it. The poem developed from the ring being a way of centering oneself. It was so complimentary to the intent of the chant that I could almost feel the poem writing itself. These are the words that it spoke. 🙂

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Filed under Inspired, Introspective, Life at University, Poetry, The world around me

Mourning

Frostbitten,
fumbling fingers
and numb hands
seek warmth
and rejuvenation
in crevices; through friction.

Icy air
pierces woolen layers;
suffocating,
strained lungs.

The stars
shed light
on abandoned streets,
skeletal trees.
Earth engulfed
by oppressive silence; deathly sleep.

‘Tis oft said for
a heart that’s dead –
is mourning what it
possesses no more.

I wonder then, what is being mourned by the deadening weather?

I know it’s a little depressing as the first post for the new year. But then, living in freezing temperatures (for the first time!) and reading a book that brings winters to life was too inspiring to not write. 🙂

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Filed under Life at University, Poetry, The world around me

Old Tales

There’s this tale one of my grandmothers would often reiterate. She’d say that whenever we ask a question of life; the answer comes to us in our sleep and stays by our side till we figure it out. As a young girl who obsessed over fairy godmothers and guardian angels, I found it soothing. I embraced the idea of having a clearer line of communication with life than just hindsight. So none of this was new to me or surprising when my meditation teacher reinforced the same belief. She as well as my grandmother however, failed to inform me how annoying it could become when you don’t comprehend the message.

For a while now, there’s a song that will pop into my head completely unanounced. I could be completely immersed in whatever I’m doing and before I know it, I’m humming. I could be walking about aimlessly, and there it is; acting as my most faithful companion. There I am, talking to someone and it’s twirling around in my head. I hadn’t heard it in forever and then one day, when I wake up in the morning, it’s all I can think of. And I don’t remember having asked a question of life. So it’s akin to you seeing a big red circle around the date on the calendar and having no recollection of why you put it there. But you know it’s crucial…that’s what the red circles are for. So you think, really hard about everything that you possibly could have found urgent. And then you ask all the people who you think might have an inkling. When no answers come forth, your search becomes more frantic, less effective.

So before I became completely inefficient, I took a breath to ask for the message to come to me in another way. For life to atleast give me an additional clue. But I don’t see it coming, and I don’t know if the song will somehow abate. What I do know is that when I tell my young ones the story of how life communicates, I’m going to emphasize on how much of it feels like a puzzle. I’m going to reiterate that when you’re not completely ready for the answers you seek, they do come to you, but perhaps they’re in a language you are yet to learn to speak.

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Filed under Childhood, Introspective, The world around me, Things that confuse me

As I kissed you
while you were asleep;
you unraveled like a flower
submitting to the bees.

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Filed under Inspired by other creative works, Poetry, The world around me